In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get swept away by emotions. Someone says something, and we react. Someone acts “inappropriately,” and we respond with irritation. How many times a day do we fall into the trap of automatic reactions that we later regret?
And here lies one of the greatest paradoxes – the greatest power in communication is often not in what we say, but in what we choose not to say.
Reaction vs. Response
Reacting is easy. It’s instinct, a defense mechanism, a way to protect ourselves from pain, disappointment, or feeling threatened.
But to respond – that’s a conscious act. It means observing what is happening inside, pausing, and only then taking action.
This difference between reaction and response can determine whether we build connection with someone, or build yet another wall.
Everyone perceives reality differently
One of the most important truths we can realize is this:
People don’t react to reality itself. They react to their memories, their filters, and their emotions.
What irritates us about others often has little to do with them. It triggers old programs stored in us long ago – often without our conscious choice.
When we understand this, we stop aiming to change others. We start changing the way we see them.
Emotional control is not suppression
Having emotions is normal. Feeling anger, hurt, sadness – it’s all part of being human.
But learning to work with emotions means:
- Noticing what’s happening inside
- Not identifying with it (“I am not anger; I am simply experiencing it”)
- Not automatically falling into destructive patterns
This gives us inner freedom. We’re no longer puppets of our old wounds.
What can help?
- Conscious breathing:
One deep breath in and out can be the difference between an outburst and calm. - Observing thoughts:
When you realize your reaction is not “you,” but just a learned pattern, you gain the power to change it. - FasterEFT technique:
Working with emotions through tapping helps release old subconscious programs that trigger automatic reactions.
Parents as mirrors
Have you noticed that under stress, you react like your father or mother? Not a coincidence. We often inherit behavior patterns unconsciously.
But that’s also where our strength lies. We can rewrite them. We can choose a new way to be present and respond with kindness – to ourselves and to others.
When you stop reacting, you start creating
Your relationships will begin to transform. Not because others have changed – but because you are no longer playing the same game. And that is powerful.
Tip: Today, try not reacting where you would normally fire back. Observe what happens inside. And perhaps in that silence, you’ll hear more than ever before.