When we touch on the topic of depression, we run into many conflicting opinions and beliefs. The first question usually is: “Is depression an illness?”
Is it some kind of chemical imbalance in the brain (which we must treat with chemical products) that makes us unable to enjoy life? Something that makes the colors of the world look dull and flat, where no positive event feels positive enough? That leaves us tired, wanting to stay in bed, feeling that life has no meaning?
In this article I’d like to unpack what usually causes depression and how to gently get rid of it.
Given what we know about our subconscious mind, which functions like a recorder, we have to consider this: in life we experience things, we gain experiences—both good and bad. All of it is stored in the subconscious. Only a small part is consciously perceived.
What does that mean? Our conscious mind uses certain filters to process information coming from the outside world. What we consciously notice—say, when observing some situation—is what we form a conscious opinion about and draw conclusions from.
But at the very same time, while we focus on the content of a conversation, our subconscious registers completely different things and stores them.
Our subconscious never “turns off” and it records everything that flies by.
That means a child playing in the next room—fully absorbed in play—subconsciously perceives, for example, the parents’ argument even if it isn’t loud. It also senses tone of voice when someone speaks to them and can unconsciously read whether a person feels one way or another, whether they speak with head lowered, and so on.
Meanwhile, we ourselves consciously live daily joys and struggles. All of this is stored in the subconscious. All our experiences and memories. Our mind—and we—learn to survive in this world, we figure out how it works. We create our heroes and villains among those closest to us and learn the best and worst from them.
Then come the usual misunderstandings, truly negative experiences, and the traumas born from them—and one day we may “find ourselves” in depression.
Sometimes we consciously know what caused it. Sometimes we can’t shake a negative experience we went through, and it ends up running our whole life.
Other times we have no idea why we feel this bad.
We feel this way because our subconscious uses what’s inside to keep itself occupied—in every sense. At times, the subconscious can’t reliably distinguish what is or isn’t good for us. It doesn’t always understand our conscious judgment about whether we want to feel a certain way—because we aren’t speaking its language, i.e., we aren’t training it properly.
Our subconscious holds the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly—and it “chooses” what to play with.
Most likely it will use whatever there is the most of. That means if your subconscious contains many positive experiences and memories, your odds of “enjoying” a serious bout of depression will be minimal.
But if the closets and drawers inside are full of skeletons, the subconscious will most often open those doors.
There’s also an important factor reflecting how we grew up and how we were taught. As children, were we constantly reminded of what we did well? Did our parents spend hours praising what we managed? Or was success taken for granted while hours and days were spent “grilling” us for what we did wrong?
These questions are among the most decisive in whether we can—or cannot—experience depression.
There are people for whom—even if you “step on their corn”—it’s hard to make them feel miserable. They take the lesson, look at the bright side, and say: “Good thing they stepped on only one!”
So why can’t you do the same? One reason may be classic conditioning.
Some people truly don’t know what it means to feel depressed—and that doesn’t mean their life was always easy. Even the most chronic “downers” might not trade with them, yet they simply look at things differently.
The key is to recognize what causes your depression.
It’s the things inside. The experiences and memories your subconscious and conscious mind reuse to entertain themselves.
If you remove the negative charge from your memories and gradually fill the inside with more positive material, it will become harder and harder to feel depressed.
Perhaps the only “depression” left will be feeling down that you can no longer get properly depressed…
If we clear out the bad and grow the good—for example by keeping a gratitude or happiness journal where we write what we want more of and all the beautiful things we’ve lived (so we can revisit and re-immerse in those happy memories)—and if we practice gratitude for anything we can…
Your life will change completely.
Don’t know how to strip out the negative?
First, decide to act. Find a therapist to help you, or keep your struggle private and use a course where you can learn everything.
Do it every day and your life will be yours again…
Or decide to spend years in a psychologist’s office, take antidepressants (whose manufacturers themselves have admitted are no more effective than placebo), and maybe one day, after many years, you’ll feel a little better (depending on the therapy type).
The decision is yours! Or… someone else’s?